Except When You Don't. Because, Sometimes You Won't.

Thanks, Dr. Seuss. It's true even in my exploratorium of a kitchen. Bang-ups and hang-ups happen. Like the miserable parsley and green garlic pesto over leftover potatoes and fusili pasta and peas.

Sure, it looked pretty enough. But it tasted terrible. Like, who wants that much parsley? Especially over old potatoes mixed with pasta. Ugh, and peas! This woman had to have been lying when she called the dish "tasty."

Then there was the near Vita-Mix homicide. So despicable it's embarrassing. And it was dangerous--my dear sweet Vita-Mix almost bit the dust; she smelled of smoking motor and went into overload protection mode... twice. Poor, poor Vita: You're worth more than even the tastiest almond butter. But this one wasn't tasty. It was pure horror, all those waxy fresh almonds whipping themselves into a thick, sticky glob, and not getting any more silken with additions of olive oil, water, peanut butter, Nutella (each added in subsequently desperate attempts to salvage the pricey almonds from total failure). This photo from my trash is frightening:

I swore off cooking for two days after these miserable mishaps. Ordered Chinese takeout, of all the ghastly scenarios possible.

Then I inherited a wok...