The important thing to note here is the glass Pyrex pan we will no longer be taking to San Francisco nor selling at our Going Away Auction. Note that it is now EXPLODED.
Witness the Christmas goose attempting to roast happily away. See the "force field" that the Somm created to allow the copious amounts of precious goose fat to drain into the Pyrex?
Well, said force field staged the Pyrex directly on the bottom of the oven--aka the heat source. I began to get nervous about such extreme heat so directly on the glass. I got more nervous as, only 20 minutes into goose roastage, I felt as though my glasses has gotten extraordinarily dirty, and my nose tickled with the unmistakable stench of smoking fat. Another exciting discovery: Our smoke detectors are delightfully non-functional!! Wolf Perl: You are the best Slum Lord ever!!
A careful examination of the force field and the entire bird-directly-on-oven-rack getup revealed that the fat dripping into the very hot Pyrex was smoking up the entire joint (no, duh). Oh, and thank you, Jamie Oliver, for this brilliant recipe.
Trying to problem solve without compromising the Somm's oh-so carefully constructed force field, I asked him, "What if we put some liquid into the Pyrex to absorb the impact of the grease?"
"That's a good idea!" he nodded in agreement. (We hadn't even gotten into the boozy milk punch yet. What were we thinking????)
Two seconds later, an oven-rocking explosion of glass and goose grease ensued, literally knocking the Somm back into our baker's rack and launching hot shards Pyrex and fat all over the both of us.
***
Having determined that no one was injured and that the goose is free of glass buckshot (and, of course, having delicately reconstructed an aluminum force field for fat funneling), I now face the challenge of having no suitable dish in which to bake my coconut mochi bars. Oh, the Christmas drama. Just too much fun.
No comments:
Post a Comment